Step 1. My Body

Not to suggest that I've figured out the meaning of life and am perfectly happy with every corner of my world, but man OH man, have I made some changes in my life. I won't beat around the bush...I was fat, and I was lazy. It's the worst combination. I was also unhealthy, unmotivated, self-conscious and boring. I don't really know why I behaved this way. I didn't learn that from my parents. My best friends in school were athletes, and even though I was pathetic at sports they never made me feel like less, so I can't blame them for making me feel inadequate. I did have some pretty constant stress in my life growing up (alcoholic dad), so can I blame that? Maybe. Maybe not. All I know is that I did NOT value my body. I took no responsibility for keeping it healthy.

In the summer of 2002 (22 years old) I weighed 200 lbs. I think I got up to 205 or so later that year, but that's just a guess. I refused to get on a scale to be sure. I'm 5'4.

Not sure what motivated me, but the following summer I started working out on the elliptical 3-4 times/week, and then added yoga classes twice a week. Dropped to 185 by November 2003. I hit a plateau and knew that it was time to work on my eating habits. I vowed that the Monday after Thanksgiving (had to enjoy leftovers for a couple days) I would start a low-carb diet. I opted for South Beach b/c it seemed healthier than Atkins. At least South Beach allowed fruit back into the diet after Phase 1. So I did lose 40 pounds by February 2004, but I cheated. I never really left Phase 1. I didn't reintroduce fruits and whole grains. I basically ate meat, cheese and eggs. Some veggies too, but not even close to the recommended amount. I was seeing the results I wanted, but what was I doing to my body in the mean time? Is THAT why I napped everyday after work and spent all day Saturday watching movies on TBS?

In May of 2004 I moved to Ferndale w/my bestest buddy Jimmy. I stayed on the low-carb diet for a little while longer, but the working out wasn't as much of a priority (had an elliptical of my own at this point but it's HOT upstairs in the summer!) We lived walking distance to our favorite bars, and we didn't live with our parents like most of our friends did, so going out at least twice a week became the norm. Well, once you introduce booze into the mix...it's over (not to mention the Pizza Hut delivery we'd devour during our hangover the next day.) 15 pounds crept back on. We were having a blast though!

Jimmy left for Chicago in April 2006. I quickly discovered that laying around all day on the weekends wasn't fun without a friend to be lazy with. So I started moving around more. Cleaning the house EVERY weekend, taking more pride in the exterior appearance of my house and doing some yard work, etc. Plus I got a part time job, so I wasn't lazy after work everyday. When the weather got nice I took 3 mile walks into Pleasant Ridge. By the end of the summer I had lost 20 pounds...without even trying. At this point I was about 160 or so.

Once the weather turned and the long walks stopped I put on a handful of pounds once again. My eating habits weren't the best and I worked out sporadically.

I weighed 167 when I joined Weight Watchers Online on July 4, 2007. I was obsessed. Logging everything I ate on the website became like an addiction to me. My daily goal was to come up with a meal with the lowest possible points for the most amount of food. I never stopped eating, but I do admit that I was close to getting carried away. I happen to know that 19 mini M&Ms is worth .5 pt. Maybe keeping track that closely is why I was able to lose 25 pounds by October, but I also knew in the back of my mind that I could never continue that lifestyle forever. I knew if one thing in my life changed I'd be in trouble. New boyfriend, new job with a tougher schedule and further commute, illness, etc. I still plugged along and in November 2007 I joined a local gym. I weighed 142 lbs (the lowest of my adult life.) I hired a trainer and went to the gym 5-6 days a week. I started jogging on the treadmill and doing strength training.

I never dropped below 142, but I was in the best shape of my life. Strong and toned. Still couldn't wear a bikini (I will never wear a bikini) but I felt great. And I'm pretty sure I looked great. I finally had self confidence. Started dating here and there, and felt on top of the world.

Fast forward to today...April 17, 2009. I started dating Jason about 13 months ago and as expected that threw a wrench into my routine, especially in the beginning. I eventually got him to join the gym with me but I still don't go as often as I did before, and when we do go together I don't spend as much time there. And of course it's harder to make the best decisions about food all the time (especially when I spend the weekend at his house and all he has to eat are BLT sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies.)

So even though I'm not as obsessively gung ho as I was before (about both diet and exercise) I've maintained my weight within 8 pounds of my lowest. (I typically teeter between 146 and 148.) I feel that this is a success because I'm maintaining this weight outside of the bubble I placed myself in during the first 7 months of doing WW.

I'm not tracking my points right now, but have learned so much by doing WW that I can't help but mentally track certain things. I will never order a 3 egg omelet again, for example. The eggs alone would be 6 points! Then add the meat and cheese and potatoes and you're over 10 easily. (I get 20 points a day if I want to lose, 24 points to maintain.) (By the way, 1 WW point equals roughly 50 calories. To calculate points, they take into account fat grams, calories and dietary fiber.)

I still struggle with my food choices and will always be tempted by the really evil but delicious things in this world (cheeseburgers, pizza, nachos, cheese puffs...I'm sensing a theme here...chocolate cake and cookies to name a few) but finally have learned how to take care of my body. My habits aren't perfect and they never will be (I want to enjoy life, after all) but I am SO happy that I learned these things while I'm still in my 20s. I have prolonged my healthy years on this earth (God willing) just by making the changes I've already made. And there's room for so much more growth. I'm excited to learn more about myself as an organism and not just a smart, funny, kind, sometimes hormonal and emotionally insane girl. (Did I mention that I'm going back to school for Dietetics!??!)

I also realize how important exercise is. Not just for weight loss. EVERYONE has to exercise. Cardio is crucial to a healthy system. Gotta get that blood pumping. Physically...mentally...emotionally. It really is a cure-all. I won't lie and say that I love every workout. Sometimes I dread it all day long. But I also won't lie and say that I don't always feel better afterwards. Even if I'm a little sore...it's a good feeling. Bring it on.

This was long, I know. I have more to say about the next goal of this blog (see next post) and if you're still reading, maybe I have something here. Or maybe I'll just continue to use this as a personal journal for myself. Either way, I'm proud of my accomplishments so far and will keep plugging along. Life is short. It's a cliche saying...we've all heard it a million times. But actually read those words and forget that it's a tagline. It really is short and there are no do-overs.